Indeed...

I need a job. I really, really want one. I already have one, but maybe I want a new one. My sister told me that the MCC warehouse might need someone to head up their shipping and recieving area, and I thought that that was the kind of job I would totally be into. You see, I don't mind the actual job of logistics, and the ministry side of it would be awesome cause I would be shipping important goods like foods or clothes to people that need them instead of $1700 pressure washers to people that want to keep their driveways clean for their shiny BMW's. So yeah, MCC might be the sort of direction that I would rather start steering my life. Useless company politics and the increasingly obvious lack of upward mobility at my current job have started to wear me out. Not to be conceited or anything, but I'm so much more than that job lets me be. Wow, that does sound conceited, but it's truly not. It's kinda like when they interview track stars on TV, and everyone thinks that they're arrogant weasels when in fact, (and anyone who has run and raced at higher levels of competition will tell you) there's a huge difference between arrogance and confidence, and confidence is essential to winning the race. They just kinda look the same on TV to the untrained eye. I refuse to settle into this job thinking 'it's my lot in life' when I know that it's not.
I think I will eat grilled cheese sandwiches for supper.
Anyways, we (my sister and I) later discovered that this job posting may have been comfused with another, and that there might not actually be an opening where I thought there was. Oh well. Whatever, the motivation has been awoken, and I think I might want to look into finding a better job, or maybe even going back to school or something crazy.
Also, those of you who know me close know that I'm going through a crazy amount of stuff right now, and any notion I had of growing up with the white picket fence and 2.3 kids has been trampled. Obviously, nobody knows the future and so maybe that's still in store for me, but I think I'm getting out of here. I'm looking into missions full time, and these last few days I have pined to get out and travel and see things and experience the world as fully as I can, cause really who knows when my time here is over. Riding a moped in Abbotsford has definitely reminded me that we all could die at any time. Abbotsford drivers are about the worst ever. Maybe not the worst, just pretty careless and negligent. Oh well, maybe I'll die while I'm out and about, or maybe I'll die of gunfire in Northern Africa or landmines in Cambodia or maybe of malnutrition behind bars in Laos. Whatever, what does it freaking matter? Every day is a gift from God, right? So yeah, Im thinking of doing an MBMSI Trek next September. So that gives me a year to make a bit of money so that I can continue paying off my debts even while I'm away. Or maybe I can get it considered as school and get a year off of paying the stupid things. I mean, that's the 3rd year of CBC's missions program anyways, and I've had the 2 year diploma since 19-[party like it's...], so maybe I can just jump in and finish the degree or something. Hmmm.
So many options, and so many roads I could go down. But in the end I have to slow down my brain and focus on the task that's in front of me. Today. Today is hard enough, and so I gotta look out for today and let tomorrow get thought out when it finally becomes today. So yeah, on that note I'll let it be and sign off of here.
Take care, all.
Shalom.