The good news is...

Well, let me just say, it's generally never good to hear a doctor start his schpiel with "Well, the good news is..." cause we all know what comes after the good news.
I went to the optometrist today. I have been having these wierd pains in my eye, like an intermittent sharp pain in my left eye, kinda like how it feels to get a flash bulb right in the face, or like, if you're my former foreman, to test out the new halogen lamp by holding it in your hand and staring at it, and then plugging it in. Anyways, I wondered what might be wrong with my eye. This part of the story goes way back to when I was at work last summer. I smacked myself good and hard in the eye with a stainless steel pressure washer wand. (The wand's part number was 85.205.063S, incase you were wondering). It was a good solid smack, leaving me blind for about half an hour and unable to see more than light and then maybe shapes for a good hour after that. So anyways, knowing that this happened to me last summer made me more than a little nervous about what was wrong with my eye. I decided to get it checked out quick-snap. The doctor wrote me a referral to a specialist and I went for that appointment today. He did a variety of tests, and then said he was going to take a look around inside my eye. To do this, they have these wonderful drops that dilate your pupils to monstrous proportions, leaving you looking like you've done a little too much speed or something. He then proceeded to look around and see what the insides were up to.
Then came his schpiel.
"The good news is that you're retina is not detached," blah blah blah... He went on for quite a while about what likely happened when I got hit, and mentioned that the problem with my eye had nothing to do with that. On an on he talked, and I began to wonder if maybe he was stalling or something. Maybe he was trying to brighten the day (also literally brighten, since that's kinda what dilated pupils do) before
dropping the bomb. Perhaps I am going blind. Perhaps I need laser eye surgery or robotic camera-eyes implanted or something. That would rule, and all'y'all would have to start calling me Robo-Cop, just because... but anyways, yeah, he took a long time getting to the bad point.
Here's the bad news that he eventually gave me. The mild form of nueralgia that I have is currently subsiding, so I won't be able to miss any work over the thing. Yeah.
I have Nueralgia, and since I can't spell it, that means it's important. I guess because of allergies or the cold or something, certain nerves in my eye are randomly firing pain signals to my brain without asking my permission first. This makes for the sharp needley feelings I get in my eye for a split second before Captain Brain notices and says "Shut Up!!!" to the nervous malefactor. I read a story once called "The Boy who Cried Wolf", and the moral of this story tells me that after a few years of this Captain Brain will get really good at telling nerves in my eyes to pipe down, and one day I'll actually get a rare and deadly painful disease in the eye and I won't notice cause my brain will have blocked the signal entirely. Anyways, for the time being, I'm ok, and he says I'll hardly notice it soon, and maybe it'll come back in a few years, but it will leave again then, so no worries.
So yeah, that was my day... oh wait!!! The greatest part.
Since my pupils were gigantic a lot of light was streaming in. The office was a dank dark place, and after getting the drops it felt like a normal well-lit room. However, I forgot about that, and so I felt normal. He told me that I would have to wear sunglasses outside, even though it was a cloudy day, cause everything would be brighter, but I, being in a normally well-lit room didn't take this to heart. I didn't have any sunglasses I told him, so he wipped out a cheap plastic flim style shade with two cardboard ear hooks. It was straight out of my Expo86 memories, and totaly hilarious. I decided I wouldn't wear them. However, as soon a I walked out the door I was blinded by the light, and pretty much had to wear them. They didn't fit really well under my other goggles, but i had no choice, and so I rode back to work on a moped wearing Expo 3D goggles and driving slow cause everything was blurry. HECTIC!!!! but I made it.
And now, I'm gonna go eat.
later.